Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Just For Laugh

Bill Gates interviews Laloo

Bill Gates : Namaskar! you must have heard of Windows.
Laloo : Oh yes! most govt. offices we have the single window clearance concept.
Gates : Have you installed Windows at home?
Laloo : I have removed all windows due to increased burgalaries in our house.
Gates(Confused): Then what is the system you operate on?
Laloo : OPERATION ? Yes, I had a Hernia operation last month.
Gates(Sweating) : Hope the internet is being used a lot in India.
Laloo: Oh Yes! Due to increased moquito problems many people are sleeping under the net. Gates: By the year 2002 India should export computer chips.
Laloo: We are already exporting Uncle Chips.
Gates(Feeling very Uneasy): do you regularly use LapTops?
Laloo: My grand-child sleeps on the top of my lap.
Gates(Sweating Heavily): The Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh knows a lot about RAM and ROM.
Laloo : RUM? Prohibition is being lifted and it will be shortly available in A.P.
Gates(Feeling Dizzy): I would like to take your leave before my system crashes.
Laloo: I have exhausted all my leave. Gates: I have no energy left, let us go out and have a bite.
Laloo: BITE? I believe in non-violence. I will not bite.
Gates: (System Crashes and Found Missing). "Windows is restarting.Please wait............."


A Indian citizen named Laalo finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.He goes into the temple and begins to pray........... "Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto". Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Laloo goes back to the temple..................... "Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Laloo still has no luck!! Back to the temple.................."My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???".Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Laloo is confronted by the voice of Lord: "LALOO, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST".


Banta was in the army. During the war with Pakistan, Banta used his intelligence to kill many Pakistani soldiers. He would hide behind the bushes and shout Pakistani names like - Imran Khan etc. and the soldier named Imran Khan would get up to say "I am here !" Then Banta would shoot him down. This went on till Banta almost wiped out all the soldiers single handedly!Suddenly the Pakistani commander realized that Banta was killing all his soldiers by fooling them. So he decides to use Banta's own method to kill him and starts calling him names like Banta etc. Banta realizing that the Pakistani was using his trick, suddenly says "Who called me?" and the Commander gets up to say "I called you." Banta shoots him down!


An Irishman had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat.After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, John!" He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the voice-with no success.Then he realized he had lost his place in the line, and had to go back to the end of the line and wait all over again.After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to buy a coke. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But since the game hadn't started he decided to wait. Just as he got to the window, a voice called out"Hey, John!" Again He tried to find the voice and got out of line as he wandered looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck. He was very upset as he got back in line for his coke. Finally he had his coke and took his seat eager for the game to begin. As he waited for the first ball, he heard the voice calling, "Hey, John!" once more. Furious, He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs,"My name isn't John!"


There was once an Indian and a Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen.The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, whoever gets up quicker wins the egg."The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked him as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"


Anonymous said...

Haha... Funny jokes, especially the balbir one...haha

Anonymous said...

CAn you please stop Publishing jokes relating 2 sikhs, sardarji or anything related 2 that..You are actually making fun of our own ppl...Please get them off ur page..

havocsingh said...

Am sorry that i made fun of sardar, my intentions was just for laugh and it does not have anything regarding sikhi, neva mind sori, I have modified the jokes.....Tc..