Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Girl : Do you love me?
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy :No, mine is undying love.
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all
about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys areprobably involved.
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had
been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the
morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the
younger boy down and asked him sternly,"Do you know where God is, son?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an evensterner tone, "Where is God?!"Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face andbellowed,"Where is God?!"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran
directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "Weare in BIG trouble this time
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!
After returning back from a foreign trip, an irishman
asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Irishman: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
An Irishman was doing experiment with cockroach,
first he cut it's one leg and told WALK. WALK.Cockroach walked.
Then he cut it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked.
Then cut the third leg and did the same.
At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn'twalk.
Suddenly irishman said loudly, "I found it.
If we cut cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.
On a political rally Irishman was arrested.
A woman journalist walking with a badge
wrote "PRESS" and He did it..
When Irishman was traveling with his wife in a taxi,
the driver adjusted mirror.
Irishman shouted, "You aretrying to see my wife?
Sit back. I will drive.
Banta went in a hotel to wash his hands. He went to the washbasin.
There he started washing thebasin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Banta pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"
Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Irishman: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!